In retrospect, the greatest mistake we made was failing to establish a time limit for our son’s temporary move back home. We’re now facing the clash of our preconceived ideas about how long he would need to finish college and the reality that he has lived with us for more than two years.
We understood the time necessary to find a part-time job. We understood the need to start off slowly in college, to “test the waters” after being out of school for eight years, and to find a balance between working and attending classes. But we do not understand why he is taking only nine credit hours this quarter and working only two and a half days a week.
The original plan was that Matt could complete his degree in one and a half to two years. Two years later, he still has more than a year left to finish, and then only if he significantly increases the number of hours he takes each quarter. Writing these words clarifies for me the disparity between the original plan and the reality of the many hours still remaining.
Our patience has been based on our desire for Matt to get that all-important degree. It’s a somewhat selfish desire on our part. A man with a degree is less likely to return to us requesting financial help. After all, we’re facing retirement in just a few years. He needs to be financially independent of us. The truth is looming: it seems that we want a degree for Matt more than he does.
And since that was the reason for allowing him to move back home, we need to reassess with Matt his need to continue living here and whether he really wants to finish school or not.
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